"Dear Figaro"

You know...
All the time, people tell me how wise I am. They commend me constantly on my sound reason and logic as much as on my tremendous humility, great natural beauty and my spectacular sense of humor. So, after some considerable contemplation and consideration, I have decided to do what I do best. I am going to tell other people what to do. This may also solve the problem of what to write about. Of course, I do not have the time to respond to any anonymous requests for advice. But please feel free to post any questions or dilemmas you may have here in my blog and I will respond to you here as well. I will do my best not to humiliate you in public, no matter how ridiculous or disgusting your little personal problems may be. You can think of me as the friend who will tell you what even your best friends won't tell you. Or you can think of me as a doctor or therapist. I happen to know for a fact that it is a safe bet if you are reading this you are probably in dire need of extensive psychiatric treatment. Just please don't think of me as Ann Landers. I have my limits.


Love,
-Figaro