Saturday, July 08, 2006

Another opening, another show. From Simi Valley to Encino.

Today is a very big day. Uncle Trabis is opening in his spectacular engagement of TWO plays by - who else? - SHAKESPEARE. This is a name that keeps popping up. I'm not certain what the appeal to this Shakespeare is. In fact, I don't understand any of it. He wrote about a million plays and sonnets. Sonnets are a bunch of words strung together like a nice song but without any music. I'm sure they would be better with music. Everything is better with music. Unless you're talking about the movie version of "The Producers - The Musical." Even Jett hates that and he has extremely low standards.

Uncle Trabis will be starring in TWO plays by Shakespeare, to be (or not to be) performed in parks all around California. One of the plays Uncle Trabis will be doing is called HAMLETTE. I think it's all about an Omelette with ham in it. I don't think Uncle Trabis is the ham, but I'm sure it will be delicious. The other play he is doing is called MUCH DO-DO ABOUT NOTHING. I don't even want to venture a guess as to what this could be about. But I think it would be smart to take some Imodium before the show.

Dad and me have been teasing Uncle Trabis about his upcoming big opening. But we know he is going to be spectacularly fabulous, especially in the big musical numbers, which we hope he is secretly planning to insert at any moment when the audience starts to get fidgetty.

We know Uncle Trabis will be great! In fact, we are certain he will be discovered by a big Hollywood talent scout. Uncle Trabis is no dummy. Everyone knows those big Hollywood talent scouts cruise the parks all the time, so what better place to be discovered? If the scouts won't come to the talent, bring the talent to the scouts in their natural habitat. I wonder if they should make a National Geographic special?

We wish we could be there to scream and applaud for him, but we are busy rehearsing for our own big event on pay-per-view. I will be singing all the hits from my upcoming studio album, "Figaro Sings the Blues," in which I belt out such marvelous hits like "Blues in the Night," "Am I Blue," "Blue Velvet" and the Love Theme from "Blues Clues."

So, Dear Uncle Trabis, know that we are thinking of you and wishing that you break your legs for your big spectacular opening. Knock 'em in the aisles. Our best advice to you is to upstage all the other cast members and, if the show is not going well, start making animal noises. Audiences eat that up. You'll have them eating out of your hands. Can we count on you to give us a private performance at our house? Especially the part about eating out of your hands.

We are very proud of you and excited for you too. We even got you flowers. They were so colorful and fragrant, but Jett already ate them. You'd be amazed how many colors he can throw up in.

Bravo and ENCORE!!! Curtain up, light the lights. On with the show!!

Figaro and Jett


Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm sure Uncle Trabis is a very fine actor. He gives very nice rubbing under the chin and scratches between the ears too. He also makes killer burritos. What's not to like? Break a leg, Uncle Trabis. We love you very much, even if I draw the line at sleeping in the same bed with you.

12:56 AM  
Anonymous Travis said...

Thank you, Figaro and Jett. I'll make sure and get some more cuddle time with you soon. :)

Uncle Trabis

6:52 AM  
Blogger SteveSchalchlin said...

I like it. Music!! It needs songs!!

8:34 PM  
Blogger Bev Sykes said...

Figaro, Darling. Your Dad says you are hard at work writing your autobiography. Your many fans are waiting with bated breath ( BAITed breath), hanging on your every word.

We hope that we will see more of your work soon.

6:02 PM  

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